With her debut album Motherland officially out, mother and and all around creative badass Angharad took some time out of her busy day(s) to share insights into her creative process, the challenges of balancing motherhood with music, and the impact of her debut album.
ATN: How different was it writing and recording Motherland as a solo artist versus being part of a band like Calan?
ANGHARAD: The biggest difference between Calan and my solo project, is that Calan almost exclusively works with found material. We would re-arrange traditional songs and tunes, and spend a lot of time searching in old collections and archives for forgotten Welsh music.
Calan always worked democratically. The writing process would happen with all five of us in the room. We’d build a piece of music from the bare bones, with everyone contributing and writing their own parts. The material for Motherland however has started life entirely from myself. The lyrics, the melodies and the song structures came first, and then I worked closely with my friend, the producer and multi-instrumentalist Aeddan Williams, to arrange the songs for the band. I’ve felt very much at the helm creatively in this process, which has been a real joy.
ATN: How did you find the time to write, create, and record an album in the throws of being a mother?
ANGHARAD: I figured a way to write songs whilst caring for a newborn baby. It was multi-tasking at it’s finest. But it didn’t feel like that. I would sing and make up songs as a way to soothe and entertain not only my baby, but myself too.
Some songs were conceived in the dark over many, many evenings, as I fed my baby to sleep. But most of them came to me on the move. Pushing the pram, cooking the tea, bathing my baby… The writer and music journalist Cath Holland coined the term ‘song writing walks’ in reference to my process. It’s a process I discovered unintentionally during lockdown. I’d start my day off with a walk to kick start the creative process (usually with my baby in the pram). On my return home, any lyrical or melodic idea that came to me on those walks would then be crafted into a song. The songs came thick and fast during that time, and within the first 6 months of 2021 I’d written the whole album (and more).
Once I had a collection of songs, my friend Aeddan Williams arranged them for the full band, and then it was a pretty quick and straightforward process from there. We recorded the rhythm section over the course of a weekend. We met again to put down the horns and string section over another weekend. And lastly, I recorded the vocals over a couple of evenings, just before my second baby was born!
ATN: You don’t try to put a shiny filter on the reality of motherhood and in your lyrics you are raw and unfiltered, was that a conscious or unconscious act during the writing process?
ANGHARAD: The songs for this album came to me very easily, and I try be as honest as possible in my song-writing. When I had my baby, I felt a little cheated by society. I felt myself asking, why did no one tell me that it was like this? (I was lucky that my brutally honest sister had painted a very raw and unfiltered depiction of what to expect, but other than that, it was all pretty rosy, cute and fluffy).
I felt that there was space in art to explore another side to motherhood. A side that we don’t even hear in private conversations openly. That’s where the idea for the song “Postpartum” came. I wanted this song to open up a conversation about motherhood, and also serve as a 3-minute ante-natal course in song-format! So to answer your question, I think the songs came from a subconscious place, but the act of recording and releasing was very much a conscious effort to present another side of motherhood that we don’t often hear about publicly.
ATN: Was there an escape for you mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually while creating or recording Motherland?
ANGHARAD: Writing this album was hugely cathartic for me. It was an outpouring of self-expression and helped me make sense of my new life as a mother. Writing it helped me tap into a part of my identity I didn’t even know existed, at a time when I’d lost who I was. It has certainly helped me make sense of my emotions. Also, the fact that many of these songs were conceived out in the fresh air, surrounded by Mother Nature herself, has opened the door to an inquisitiveness about my own spirituality, which didn’t exist before. There’s no doubt that I’ve grown as a person throughout the process.
ATN: What was the best part of creating Motherland?
ANGHARAD: Probably hearing the songs come to life with the full band. I felt ecstatic and they were far better than I could possibly have ever imagined. I have so much to be thankful of, least of all to my daughter for inspiring these songs in the first place, and then to the creative team behind this album. Aeddan Williams, Sam Barnes, Michael Blanchfield, John Close, Alex Burch… it’s been a pleasure creating music with these fine musicians.
ATN: Was there a bad part?
ANGHARAD: Only the fact it’s taken so long to get it out there. It’s a huge weight off my shoulders now that it’s out in the world. I can now move on to the next creative project!
ATN: Do you have any advice you would give to mothers on being creative?
ANGHARAD: Becoming a mother/parent is a shock to the system, regardless of the circumstances of the birth. I strongly believe in the importance of self-expression to deal with this major life transition.
If nothing else, journaling can be a brilliant way to reflect on how you’re feeling. Singing is also a very natural, almost automatic response to connecting with a newborn baby. Experiment by replacing your baby’s name in already existing songs and lullabies. From here, you could start writing your own simple songs. Dance with your baby. There are studies on how dancing and moving with your baby can develop early signs of empathy. Just play, and look at the word with fresh eyes, as if you too are seeing things for the first time.
ATN: You recorded Motherland while pregnant with your second child and have said that baby number two was followed by album number two in terms of lyrics and melodies. Do you notice a difference between what your Muse brought to you after your second child and what you created for Motherland?
ANGHARAD: The muse has been hanging around a while now. I’ve discovered that she likes to visit after I give birth, and hangs around for about 18 months. I’m not sure if it’s something to do with fertility and creating new life, or the slightly spacey feeling of being chronically sleep deprived which has contributed to this sudden surge in creativity. Either way, I’m grateful for her presence! She’s given me subject matters of language, identity, wellbeing, anxiety, time and, of course, motherhood to play around with again. I keep writing about this subject, because I find it so fresh to write about. There really isn’t much out there on this subject, so I feel I can confidently fill this void. I have also been exploring writing in the Welsh language, as this is what we speak at home with the kids.
ATN: When your children are old enough to understand Motherland, what do you hope they take away from the album?
ANGHARAD: I hope I will have left them something that they can be proud of, and something they can turn to, even when I’m gone. This is the ultimate love letter from a mother to her children, and hopefully includes a few lessons for when they too may become parents one day. They were the inspiration and driving force behind the creation of the album, but if anyone else can take something away from this album too, then that’s a bonus.
ATN: Besides being a mom, what is on the horizon for 2024 for you?
ANGHARAD: I’m gently getting back to performing. I have a few gigs planned for this project, including a launch party in Swansea Elysium on 2nd May, a showcase at FOCUS Wales, Wrexham on 9th May, and performing at Laugharne Weekend on 17th March. I also have a few folk gigs lined up with my own mother on harp, which will be nice. I’m also working on a song book, a collection of essays and a podcast around the subject of motherhood and creativity, and hopefully before 2024 is out, I’d like to return to the studio to get these new songs on record. So plenty to keep me creatively nourished!
