Armed with a single sheet of A4 paper that read “Peace, Friendship, 8th of March”, songwriter and producer, n0trixx, was arrested in Moscow’s Red Square for protesting the war in Ukraine in 2022.
The Russian masked artist not only uses her platform to criticise the Putin regime but to also explore her own Dissociative Identity Disorder. The anonymity of the mask allows her the creative freedom that would otherwise be suffocated by that of her home country and her own mind.
On the name of the EP, n0trixx says this,
“The EP is called Rejected because one of my mental health diagnoses is Borderline Personality Disorder, which makes people highly sensitive to rejection. As it happens, every track on this EP had been rejected one way or another by the people who didn’t believe in me, because they only cared about numbers. The people I looked up to ignored and bypassed me. In turn, I rejected them and their values and I stood for what I believed in. I decided to finish every song by myself.”
A song that explores her mental awareness of her personalities is the fierce and fabulous song, “Do I Exist” with guitarist Sarunas Brazionis and drummer Garrett Haag.
n0trixx says this about the song,
“This song is a deep dive into the existential doubts that infest the troubled mind of a person living with DID. The unsettling and disturbing vibe is further accentuated by the mystical synths, the distorted guitars, heavy drums and soul-tearing screams make the struggles and pain of living with DID palpable to the listener.”
n0trixx also does a solid cover of “14 Left” by Detroit’s Factory 81 but it’s perhaps the closing song, “Morphine” that exposes the heart of who n0trixx is…a human that amplifies the voice for those that may not be able to speak, be it protesting war or raising mental health awareness.
In drawing from her own personal experiences, n0trixx’s Rejected is a beautiful acceptance of being both a fighter and survivor. Both standing up for justice within and on the outside. Just like her personalities that demand her attention, n0trixx could have rejected them but instead accepted them and in doing so, has created a unique voice that rises above others with an under determined strength.
MUST LISTEN TRACKS: “Do I Exist”, “Hard to Be a God”, “14 Left”, “Morphine”
photo by Aleksandr Permyakov
